The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Today was the big day - the day I got my braces off. After two and a half long years of cutting my corn off the cob and every other fruit and veggie into bite size pieces, I headed to Dr. Ostler to reveal my new straight pearly whites. It should have been a fantastic day. Not only were my braces coming off, but our new California King Sleep Number Bed was set to arrive. But for some reason this day went wrong from about 4am.

Here's a quick look at how it all went down:

Had to work early due to orthodontist appointment.
Woke at 4am with bad stomach pains and never fell back asleep.
Went to work, where it was obvious to all I did not feel well, and left for my appointment with a less than happy tummy around 9:30am. Figured the anxious/excited feeling I had about the braces coming off might have been part of it.
Once at the appointment, my tummy was not happy and neither was my bladder, as a result.
Hygienist had trouble getting a few brackets off and it hurt - this was by far the worst part of the entire braces experience.
Ask to use restroom thanks to bladder/tummy issues. Due to leaving my purse in the car, I put my iPhone in my back pocket and forgot. Next thing I know, kerplunk! Why, why why?!?!?!?!
Head back to chair and let everyone know what just happened. Still feeling yuck and end up needing to use the restroom a few more times. They think I'm sick and need a towel and garbage can next to me. Super embarrassing. However, it is very hard to explain IC to people so I just let them think that.
They hurry along and send me to get impressions where they have trouble and have to take them twice. The impressions aren't so bad, though, thankfully!
Come home and see the bed arrived in the few hours I was gone that morning and they left it in our driveway. Thanks, guys. Thankfully, Jeremiah ran home and helped me get it inside.

All in all, the braces are off and the bed arrived. I have no clue if they gave me any instructions at the ortho because I was so out of it/embarrassed/feeling blah. This stuff only happens to me. I swear! Hopefully, tomorrow when I get my retainer it will go much smoother - my day included!

XX!

Elizabeth - Senior Session

While I haven't done a photo session in ages, I was asked by niece if I would take her senior photos. There is a lot of pressure in doing that - But I said yes. I felt really rusty and in over my head during the shoot and I am sure they could tell. I haven't completely given up on photography, but I certainly do not have the gear or editing software to take the photos I wish I could. I am happy with how these turned out, but for sure need to invest in an editing monitor. For now, here is my session with the beautiful Elizabeth.

 

Confessions of a Houseslob

I sit here writing this covered with Crispy Rice on my torso and in my hair. Not because I have children, but because I just love food and went all ravenous on this box of Nature's Path Crispy Rice.  I feel this is important to mention because it says a lot about me and what I'm about to admit.

I'm a lazy slob. Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh, but I've said this before and I'll say it again: You know how some people say things like, "Deep down inside of me is a tough, determined, tiger (or whatever other animal they identify with), with the heart of a champion just waiting to break free and conquer the world?" Yeah, we'll deep down inside of me is a 500lb man sitting on a couch eating Bon Bons while watching Designing Women and drifting in and out of sleep all day. Only to have to be removed from said house by a wall being knocked down and then being transported to a hospital like a whale in a net via helicopter. Okay, this may have been a Jerry Springer episode I once saw, but you get the gist. 

I struggle with self motivation and discipline. I hate to do things I don't want to do or that I don't find fun. Which is odd because I grew up a dancer and discipline is usually ingrained in you. But I may have been slightly rebellious and missed out on that lesson fully. I wish this wasn't so, but I can't figure out how to be different. I see all these perfect little Facebookers and Pinteresters posting all the awesome things they do to their home, cook for dinner, or businesses they start and think, "How in the h-e double hell do they have time to do that?" Naturally, I judge them and tell myself their families are probably suffering and obviously they are sacrificing something big to be that awesome. Then I kick myself because I have all these awesome ideas and things I want to do, but can't seem to do them. I can barely convince myself to cook dinner most nights.

One thing I have learned to accept about myself is that I never was the girl who couldn't wait to get married or be a wife or mother. And although I'm married, that's still who I am. I still don't want to be a homemaker. I hate housekeeping, crafting, gardening, and cooking. Baking is another story, but housewife duties bore and irritate me. After I accomplish a lot around the house I don't feel like a bad-A wife, I think, "Crap that took a lot of time! I could've done something way more fun than that shizz." So while being Susie homemaker looks enticing, deep down I know that does not make me happy.

I guess in the end, it all comes down to priorities. As long as my house isn't a total pig sty, I'm cool to do other things I find more important and let a few dishes chill in the sink. And if you stop by you will most likely see these dishes sitting in the sink, in addition to a couple pairs of shoes on the floor, clean laundry in a pile upstairs, a blanket on the couch, books on the end table, mail and a pile of change from Jeremiah's pockets on the entryway table, and maybe more. And I'm (almost) okay with that. For some keeping their home immaculate is a priority - for me it's not. 

Also, I've realized decorating, crafting, gardening and the like are also not my life's passion. I try to emulate you sassy little housewives posting your crafts, home cooked dinners, and planting your flowers, but since I find myself not enjoying the process and wishing myself elsewhere my crafts end up looking like a 5 year old made them, my food is overcooked and there's a huge mess, and my plants die. Trying to be someone you're not is never easy nor fun.

So while I do fight that fat man inside of me trying consume my life, I accept that my life's passion does not lie in being a housewife and will even go so far as to say God did not put that passion in my heart. My husband knows this. And although there are times he wishes I was a little more housewife-ish, he can laugh about it. After all, he's a total metro and his priorities do not lie in the typical man chores some men take pride in. What a pair - talk about a match made in Heaven! Hired help may be in our future. 

X, A!

Braving the dreaded 'No Bathrooms' on the Pendleton Underground Tour Comes To Life

Well, IC ladies... I did it. I went somewhere and did something that specifically said "no bathrooms on tour" and the tour was approximately two hours.

There is an underground tour in a city about 1.5 hours away from where I live and once a year they do a live interactive version that I heard was fantastic. My mom had been wanting to go so for Mother's Day I bought us tickets. While there are bathrooms at the gift shop, there are none underground for public use. Which as you know, even the thought can make us panic. I did make sure to go a few times before our tour started and although I was definitely stressing a little, did not want to let the IC be in control. So I did it anyway. I was prepared to need to leave the tour early, but ended up never having to. I relaxed a bit and was distracted enough I made it through. If I could have celebrated with a drink I sure would have! ;)

Some tips if you ever encounter something like this: choose carefully what you have for breakfast and what you drink, take your meds, and be prepared to do whatever necessary to take care of yourself. Being kind and explaining the situation to the others, if need be, is always an option! Even if you tried and things didn't work out exactly as you hoped, I'd say that is a success! You learn and get stronger through each experience. So good for you!

Another thing, try not to stress or take things too seriously. Yes, IC is uncomfortable and a pain in the uh... lower regions, but if you can laugh at the situation and just do what ya gotta do, life will be easier and others may not even notice or be bothered by it. And if they are, time to get new people in your life. 

So celebrate those IC successes and attempts. No matter how small! And share them with the IC community.  I know they inspire me and I'm sure I'm not the only one. 

X, A!

The IC Life

Hi everyone! I don't post much about what's going on with my health, but I plan to change that. Not in the sense that I want you to know every little detail about my body, but I do want to share what I'm doing and trying on the path to recovery from IC.

I'm always on the lookout for information and stories from those who have similar struggles and it can be hard to find upbeat positive people who fight tooth and nail to not let their struggles overcome them. I appreciate everyone who opens up and shares their experience, but so many people simply want a place to vent (we all need that) or even complain without making any life changes or doing anything about their situation. It can be so easy to stay stuck in that depression and fear that health issues can cause and I want to inspire people to overcome it! 

I may fail everyday at being who I want to be, but I refuse to be defined by my health struggles or failures. I want to live despite what I'm going through. I want to fight for my life and all I want out of it. And I want to share it with you! I want to show you the happy and not so happy parts of struggling with IC, how I deal, what works or doesn't for me, along with recipes, food ideas, travel advice, and other tips for living with IC. 

If you ever have any question or comments, please leave them here! But remember to be polite and respectful. We're all just doing our best here and there is no reason to be mean. The world has enough of that. 

So I hope you enjoy my blog and stick around. Because you're not alone. I'm not alone. And we CAN do this!

XX,

A

Interstitial Cystitis Woes

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."

― Jonathan Safran Foer

Right now, my body is literally controlling my life and I find myself straining under the weight of it all. From the missed workouts, Starbucks in the morning, spur of the moment travels, and desire to seek out new employment opportunities the things that once spurred me along, rejuvenated me, and inspired me are no longer the same. There are so many lives I want to be living, but right now I am here. In this body. Living this life. Trying to make the most of it. Trying to reinvent my life and find new opportunities and passions that will motivate, inspire, and make me feel like I am living an important life on this Earth. I'm attempting to refuse to put limits on my life, yet also be realistic about what I am physically able to endure. I think I am able to endure anything. But in my darkest moments, it's hard to believe that. But I have to. However, by forcing these lives I want to live, I don't want the hard work and stress to cause more suffering. It's a catch 22. I feel like I am missing out on so much and I am straining beneath it all, but am not sure how much to push myself. Should we accept our limitations in life or should we never put limits on ourselves no matter what we are going through? Should we accept where God has us now and not force things we know may not be best or healthiest for us or should we trust that God will  get us through no matter what we choose to do? That is where I am at in this moment. On this day in time. Am I strong enough to handle more? Am I able to let God be my strength? Sometimes, I don't know. But I truly pray I am. I want to be fearless in life more than anything! To take on new challenges without fear - no matter what my body says. To not fear anything or anyone. To fill my life with people, places, and experiences that inspire others. To show love and compassion and be a heart changer in the world. I don't talk about what I am going through much, but I do want people to be aware in case they think I am rude/lazy/wimpy/weak/etc. so they know there may be more going on beneath the surface than what they see everyday. If you could throw a heartfelt prayer my way I would appreciate it.

X, A!

Peanut Butter Granola Balls

I love peanut butter and granola. In fact, whenever I make any sort of peanut butter/granola concoction I eat it all up in a day. It can be dangerous. Good thing these can be made as healthy or dirty as you want! Just omit or add anything you prefer to make it healthier. That's the beauty of this recipe. You can even do it gluten and dairy free (which I did). Also if you prefer more of one ingredient, feel free to add more and compensate by increasing the honey or PB or use less of another ingredient to keep the texture right. I've seen several recipes like this posted online, but decided to make up my own because they are all basically the same and there is no exact science to it. You could do the same, but here is my version to do with what you will. Trust me, these are a fast and tasty breakfast!

Peanut Butter Granola Balls
Recipe by Angela Atkins

Ingredients

• 1 cup (dry) oatmeal
• 1/4 cup carob or chocolate chips (optional)
• 1/4 cup slivered almonds
• 1/4 cup pumpkin seeds or sunflower seeds
• 1/4 cup peanut butter
• 1/4 cup almond butter (or use all PB)
• 1/4 cup flax seed
• 1/4 cup rice krispies
• 1/2 cup honey or agave
• 1/4 cup flaked coconut (optional)
• 1 tsp. vanilla

Directions

Stir all ingredients together in a large bowl until thoroughly mixed. Roll into 1 inch balls and chill in refrigerator for half an hour. Store in an airtight container in refrigerator for up to 1 week.

X, A!