Taking Pride

I always down played the fact that I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology. And only recently have been able to admit why. I worked in the counseling field for 3 years before the unit I worked on shut down and I transferred over to PNNL. To be honest, I was already feeling that typical counselor burnout after 2 years so the move was sort of welcome.

Feeling like the burnout meant maybe I chose the wrong field coupled with coming to work at a national lab like PNNL, I began to downplay the importance of my degree. When people asked about my college background I would laugh and say, "Psychology, not like it matters out here. " I said this more out of fear of judgment that others were wondering what I was doing with a Psych degree at a national lab and why I may not be in the field anymore. Also, I know more people without degrees than with, so I felt downplaying it made me safer and more relatable so they wouldn't think I felt any superiority. But in doing this, I not only weakened their view of myself, my intelligence, and education, but my own. Disregarding everything I learned and went through to obtain my degree to avoid judgment or to make others feel good was not true to what I felt. I really was proud, but afraid to show it. Over time this way of being starts to brainwash and steal your confidence. Which is not good for you or those around you. I have a lot of knowledge and life experience to offer the world from the last decade of my life, including my college education, and I was devaluing that and myself.

Over the past 3 years, I have settled into my position at PNNL and thought about what I've learned from this job versus what I learned from college and my 3 years as a counselor. What I realized is, the lessons and experiences from my early 20's have been far more valuable than I ever gave them credit for and I strongly regret any downplaying or devaluing I did. I am proud of my decision attend college and obtain a degree in something I felt passionate about and to serve in the way I was able. In addition to my education, I learned so much about myself, life, people, research, decision making, and other ways of being and will never devalue that again. It is a lie for me to do so. I think my education is one the greatest investments I ever made and I do not regret it. I would do it again if I had do it over. I still have that passion for Psychology and learning and I intend to celebrate it now.

In life we all take a different a path. No one way is the only or right way. For some that might mean getting a job out of high school. For another getting married and starting a family. To devalue our choices and ourselves out of fear of judgment or making others feel less is wrong. Be proud of who you are and the life path you took. Yes, we might make mistakes along the way, but often that is where the greatest lessons lie. If others can't handle who you are or the path you chose it's more about them than you. Pray for them and gently guide them. Sometimes people don't know there are all these choices out there waiting for them and they can do it, too.

So be proud. Share you experience and knowledge. And never let others inadequacies make you feel like you need to protect them. There is a difference between an arrogant pride and a confident pride. Shrinking yourself down smaller never made anyone else get bigger.

Bath Time Debacle

I like the idea of baths, but once I'm in there the picture I had in my head is never my reality. A relaxing, warm, tranquil paradise turns into a fight for my life. The weight of the water feels as if it's crushing my guts. And since I like the water HOT, after laying there for about 10 mins I am facing heat stroke. But if I wait for the water to cool off  I risk hypothermia as the water goes from 150 degrees to 10 in 30 seconds. Plus, the hard porcelain hurts and the tub I have is not deep enough to encase every body part comfortably. And do people really read in there? I risk dropping every book or magazine every time and if I'm not dropping it then I'm getting wet finger prints on every page. Lastly, if you really think about, you are just stewing in your own filth. So as much as I crave a bath some nights, I can't do it. I think what I need is a shower with a chair. Yes, that's the ticket.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Thank you, thank you! It may not seem like a big deal, but it let's me know that my friends and family support and love me. Which is better than any prize in the world! I recently entered J and I in the 98.3 The Key 'Love2Win' photo contest where the winners were determined by popular vote. Thanks to my sweet friends and family, we were one of the winners! One other cool thing to note - our photo was the cover photo for the contest so everyone who went to vote at least saw our photo whether they liked it or not. LOL. My hump day has been made!

X!

Castle - My New Viewing Pleasure

We don't have cable in our home. We are mainly movie watchers. And with the home theater we put in, we prefer movies on our big screen over the TV. Plus, there are no TV shows we are obssesed with or that we follow on a regular basis. Well recently, I caught the show Castle after a viewing of Dancing With The Stars last season and loved it. I do not follow it religiously, but I do enjoy it and try to remember it is on. What I like about it is that it's different from most of the other crime shows on TV. It is not overly gory, filled with sex, or profane language. It focuses on a good story line, some mystery, and peppers in a little humor every week thanks to the hilarious, Nathan Fillion. Plus, the whole cast is pretty easy on the eyes. If you're up late on a Monday, give it a watch.

 - Castle. ABC. 10pm PST. -

Here's to 2013

I didn't make a New Year's Resolutions this year, but that doesn't stop me from having a 2013 list of things I'm dreaming of doing! It has been very hard to do many things lately with my body being so unpredictable, but if I can make any of the below happen this year I will be one happy girl!

Caribbean Cruise - I have been dreaming of a Caribbean cruise for sometime now, but we usually end up having other vacations come in the way. I'm not sure I will like the schedule of a cruise or being confined to a ship on certain days, so we plan on doing a short 4 or 5 night cruise to try it out. I like the idea of seeing so many new places, but am a little scared of cruise viruses, too! Hope no sickies come on board!

New York - New York has been on my 'go-to list' for my whole life! I want to see Niagara Falls so bad! I think every year I harass Jeremiah about seeing it. This will be a big trip as I will need almost 2 weeks to see/do all I want to do. Who knows, maybe 2013 is the year 'the Atkins do The Big Apple'?

Indoor Skydiving - There is a place near Seattle that looks like a blast. Don't know if real sky diving will ever be in my future, but this is close enough for me.

Keritan or Fiberceutic Hair Treatment - I have always wanted to try the Brazilian Blowout, but after hearing about the chemicals they use I nixed that idea fast! Then I saw some new inexpensive hair treatments at my favorite spa and put them on my list of 'beauty to-do's'. Haven't got around to them yet, but hopefully will soon.

Make a YouTube movie - Okay, not really a movie per se, but I have a project I started that is being filmed. I can't talk about it yet, but in a couple of months should have the final product ready to debut. No, I am not pretending I am someone 'supa cool' or 'special.' Just having fun and living life.

Photography Project - I have been thinking about beauty a lot latey, and have something in the works for possibly Spring to showcase the real beauty of real local women. Hoping to make this one a fundraiser, possibly.

Buy a new car - My old trusty Honda has been good to me, but it is time for it to go. It is only a 2 door and I will never be able to fit babies in there. We tried with my sister's kids and it is impossible. Here's to welcoming a new vehicle to the Atkins fam this year!

Buy land for building our new home on - We have been looking around and thinking real hard about this one. Location is huge for us. Stay tuned!



Dearest 2013 - Please be good to us!